My mom was a single mom when I was growing up. She struggled financially and mentally, like a lot of single parents. She always worked full-time in a medical office, but that wasn’t enough to pay all of the bills. We needed some extra help. We had food stamps sometimes, and we had assistance with our rent via HUD. There were times when we had a big block of government cheese in the refrigerator. Even with all of this struggle, my mom somehow learned to like nice things. Every year, when she got her tax refund, she would buy something nice for herself. Sometimes, it was jewelry, and one time it was a fur coat. We lived in South Florida. My mom also managed to get quite a few credit cards. So, there were always a lot of credit card bills.
I started out following in my mother’s financial footsteps early in life. I got a Discover card when I was 18 and blew through my credit limit buying clothes and expensive department store cosmetics. I developed a love of all things Liz Claiborne and Origins. I went to work at Macy’s at 19 and was given one of their cards. Since I was building a credit history I was able to add a visa and other store cards. I got a 20% discount at Macy’s, so I spent most of my money there. I had some great clothes, terrific shoes, and tons of Origins cosmetics. I kind of liked nice things just like my mom.
Before I married my first husband I made him buy me a new, red Firebird. I had a perfectly good car, but I wanted a shiny red sports car, at the age of 22. So, we bought it together and had a huge car payment that we did not need. I kept shopping, too. Even though I was no longer working at Macy’s, I still shopped there a lot. I also shopped at Neiman Marcus, Jordan Marsh, and all of the other stores I never went to when I was a kid. This should come as no shock, but my first husband and I filed for bankruptcy two years into our marriage, right before our son was born.
Bad credit and a screaming infant can be stressful. When my son was two, we separated. Once, I divorced my first husband, I decided to go back to school and finish my Master’s degree. So, since I could not qualify for scholarships or financial aid, I took out a lot of loans – like $26,000 worth of loans. I spent a lot of that cash on stupid things like lending a friend money. I never saw any of that money again, even when I was financially strapped and asked her for help. This is about the time I stopped being stupidly generous with “friends.”
Since my credit history was completely screwed, I could not get any credit cards. For a period of time, I could not even open a checking account. But I COULD get credit at Fingerhut. For those of you who have never been truly desperate, Fingerhut is a company that jacks up its prices and charges a lot of interest, but they will give credit to ANYONE. So, in the midst of my divorce, I was able to get a really overpriced rice steamer and some other crap I probably didn’t need. Score!
After dating two real-life toads, an alcoholic and a compulsive liar (go me!), I met my current and forever husband. He taught me how to not be a financial disaster. He showed me how to put a little money from each paycheck into this super neat thing called a savings account. I had never heard of it before. With a lot of work and discipline, we finally got my student loans paid off a couple of years ago. In all, it took over 10 years to pay them.
I’m proud of the fact that even after a rough start and a bankruptcy, my credit score is good now. I’m a homeowner and I even have a savings account. And young Lisa would have killed for my current credit limits. I still buy Origins, but now I can afford it.
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